At this point in my life, if you were to ask me "what do you like about yourself?" I would respond with "not much"
but if I had to choose, I'd say
"My feet"
You might think it strange, but it's true.
For the longest three years of my life, my feet were my nearest and dearest friends.
I was the girl who sat by herself because she let the people who whispered and giggled about her define her.
So instead of making friends at recess, I stood off to the side, careful not to make eye contact with anyone. So I stared at my feet.
I memorized the way my feet looked in my shoes, walking to class.
I mapped out my schedule in the shoelaces on my sneakers
When I finally took a moment after three years to look up, I no longer recognized the world around me.
There were new people to meet and befriend and suddenly,
the years of staring at my feet were lost from my muscle memory as my feet marched me up to a stranger and my hand stuck itself out there like the last remaining leaf on a limb and I introduced myself.
"Hi."
That's the other thing I like about myself.
My hands.
I don't necessarily like the way that my fingers are disproportionately longer than the palms of my hand and how my fingers are so round at the bottom,
But I like the very idea of hands.
The same hands that hold the axe that cuts me down can
Hold out to me a key
With which I can set myself free
From the bondage of loneliness.
The hands that push me down
can set me back on my feet.
The same hands that can take a life
Can save it.
The hands that say no
Can also open up and become welcoming.
Sometimes my hands speak for me.
They write without my consent
They create and they destroy.
It's not my hands that are beautiful,
but the things they can do.
If my feet had not marched my unwilling self
up to my future best friend, and
If my hands had not been open to
Creation rather than destruction,
I would not be the girl with
long fingers and weird curled toes
Who stands before you, begging you;
Don't try to love yourself just for the way you look
Love the beautiful endless possibilities you are capable of.
