The World Within

My mother always told me to be wary of the outside world

She would hold my chin and tell me, “Mary, you’re just a girl.

this world will hand you war, disappointment, and defeat.

It will knock you down again and again before you can get back on your feet.

You might love, but your heart will be broken.

You will be robbed if you leave your front door open.

You are vulnerable and you will experience pain,

If you sing to the sky it will probably rain.”

so I learned to live my life inside myself.

With my heart and feelings stored on a shelf

Gathering dust, far from hurt

But it’s hard to live life without some time in the dirt

and I still had my highs and I still had my lows

But the thing about life - it continues to go –On.

Until it doesn’t.

Do you inhale or exhale your final breath?

That’s something I’ve never understood about death.

How one life can suddenly just … stop

While the lives around it continue on

No matter the brokenness, nor the hurt

It’s just one more absence in this world.

People will hand out hurt and hate

It’s nearly impossible to walk through this life unscathed

The world around me is falling apart

And it’s trying to tear at my heart

But

What if the world outside isn’t so bad

and the world within me is what I had –

mistaken for a predator, coming for me?

The world within me; crumbling

Depression, doubts, darkness

All within me - the funny thing is

That no one sees it, and it’s all consuming

It’s all inside me - everything

I’m damned to the world within

Damned inside my head with my sin

Damned to crumble with this world

Damed to be just another victim,

Just another girl

another casualty

Stuck in a dream

Where no one can see the danger isn’t around me

It isn’t the world that surrounds me

In all honesty, my struggle begins

Deep inside,

with the world within